I see lightning in the dark

Flashes of light pass through my eyes as I lay in bed. Every night I have this show. The same rhythm. It's haunting. I'm haunted. At night I think of all the memories. Taking me over. My mind can't control. The rolling. A ball of memories. Etched in my head with flashes of lightning.

I've seen a lot. I've felt a lot. I've done a lot. Life has been long and yet seems so short within time. Tonight I see my pains but I don't feel them. I watch in my mind like a spectator. Watching hoping the ending is different this time. I don't like my memories, the lightning that haunts me.

I'm alone. When I feel the strongest. I am alone. I fear. I wait. I hide all pain. The darkness can't hurt me, until the lightning flashes. I'm no longer strong. Spectating in weakness. I can not change the past. It replays over and over. Trapped in a Ferris wheel. A projection of life. 

Life. If you're reading this then you are alive. Living. Breathing. Trapped and free. It's crazy how that is.Trapped in life with no way out and yet free to do as you please. So it seems. Life is tricky. The lightning is beautiful until the thunder rolls.