Friday Nights

 Friday nights are the worst.Why? I honestly have no idea why, but they are the worst. Probably has something to do with how my mind loves to play tricks on me. It's always on a Friday. 

What does my mind do? It likes to make me think of doing horrible things. I'm better now, so I don't do them. But I hate thinking about it anyways. Ruining a perfectly good evening. The voices like to creep in. Talking their shit to me. I know I'm making myself sound so psychotic. I'm not that bad actually, not anymore. I'm handling myself much better now. Tonight is proof of that. I'm choosing to blog out my feelings instead of acting on them. So, no worries. I'll be ok.

I still hate friday nights. The things I think about. It's never towards another person. It's always self inflicted. Why? I don't know that either. I know I should love myself, but I don't. It's just how I feel. I'm trying to get better at it. I see a psychologist every week. She's easy to talk to and very helpful. I'm working on myself.

I paint so much now. I'm not necessarily any good but I'm definitely trying. I love doing skies with silhouettes and inspirational quotes. We could all use some inspiration sometimes.

I felt inspired to start working with ItWorks this past week and I honestly have no idea what I am doing. I'm trying to do it right without being that obnoxious mlm person. It's not an easy gig. We'll see how it goes. I'm really hoping my paintings start getting noticed. I'm researching and learning new techniques. It's been fun. I'm going to try paint pouring and bottle coloring soon. Definitely excited about that.

Tonight might be a little bit better now that I've blogged out all my thoughts. I hope you enjoyed reading a little bit of my crazy mind. I'm just me trying to make it in this world just like you. Goodnight.